I wrote 3 posts you'll never see.
The first one was tracing my history of playing WoW and finding out why and how I went through different phases of addiction, rejection and compulsion when playing the game.
The second post was talking about how moderation gets a bad rap from people who want you on board with whatever they promote.
It discussed the different ways to defend moderation, why it's a good thing, and how it could be applied to your life.
(There was also a bit where I pointed out the fact that following Zarhym - Blizzard moderator - on his Twitter account helped to inspire moderation in me.)
The third was laying down some suggestions for a Warcraft "cure" to remove false pretenses of self-imposed slave labor and leave only the fun aspects of the game to be enjoyed.
The prominent point of the whole deal was to remove/deny the existence of the Achievement System.
But I stopped as I was writing the third one.
Had a brief moment of clarity when I realized that all this was ultimately uninteresting.
As Chuck Palahniuk wrote: "The most boring thing in the entire world is nudity. The second most boring thing is honesty." (Invisible Monsters)
Although very informative in a "personal info diary" kind of way, I wasn't bringing anything new to the table.
It's hard to keep ourselves honest when we're writing.
But we do it almost automatically.
We use exaggerated qualifiers, we add shades of colors where there were none, we glorify the way we act, the way we think.
We become imbued with a degree of righteousness that's equal to how moralizing we want to be.
I deleted the posts.
I'm not a victim of WoW or Blizzard or the sole responsible of feeling the compulsion to log on.
The game is really fun and I need to enjoy it with moderation.
Not be all "Woe is me, I can't stop myself from playing."
I was claiming I was going to play less, only 2 months away from the launch of an expansion ?
I've never been so eager to log on right now than I was during the course of the last year.
The future is always a blank slate.
You discover your path with every step you take.
No matter the nature or the color of your intentions of what your future should be, you have to deal with the cards you're given every single day.
It's not about how you plan to react, how you plan to be, that will determine your future.
It's how you deal with things right now.
So as I was tearing to pieces the sheets of paper on which I wrote a month and a half of work, I learned a new writing mantra.
Stop fooling yourself.
See yourself as you truly are.
Work your way from there.